On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
