A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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