Umm I'm too high to move.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
