Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
