now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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