We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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