He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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