the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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