I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize