Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
