Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
