im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
