I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
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