My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
we should paint friendship bongs
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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