Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
