he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
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