I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
