Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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