I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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