So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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