Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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