He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
