I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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