I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We need to get me chipped asap
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
