You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
