Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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