it hurts more in the daytime
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
