Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
