It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
