Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
