oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
