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phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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