Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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