pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
