11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
