I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
