Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Will exercising make me less horny?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
