its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
