So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
