I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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