We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
