well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
