I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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