You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Congratulations! We have a period
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