i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
