I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
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The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
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I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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