dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
