honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
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i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
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Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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