Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
