i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
