I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
