I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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