I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
as a side note pls kill me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
