This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
