Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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