Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
