I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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