oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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