she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
