Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
