do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
